somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
