just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
She said her name was "party"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
im holly from the hills drunk
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I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize