How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
