I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize