I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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