Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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