I would go down on you faster than GM stock
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
