You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
