sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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