I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
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