You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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