we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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