Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
