I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
