listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
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