Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
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