we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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