You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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