Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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