you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
