Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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