So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she smelled like a LAN party
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
