yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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