we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
