wanna go halves on a baby?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
So squirting runs in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize