Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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