i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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