the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
you had me at cake vodka
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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