I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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