how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
