I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
