im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
