If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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