i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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