and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
