found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
