If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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