I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
