i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
