reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
