The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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