You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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