were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
