I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
