So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
