Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
