U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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