i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
