So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
