You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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