obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
