Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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