I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
