Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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