the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
