she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
