I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
