why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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