You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
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I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
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I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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