That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
