Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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