Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
