I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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