I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
