My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
