hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
