She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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