Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
