This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
