I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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