Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
